Vaginal Issues

Embarrassing Intercourse

Dear Dr. Faizal,

Most times when my boyfriend and I have sex there are times when he is thrusting and my vagina will make an embarrassing sound. And if he pulls all the way out to change positions it is even worse! It is almost like a farting sound. And if we are not using a condom and he ejaculates inside of me his ejaculate just falls out. Can you help me figure out what is wrong with me? It is so embarrassing. I am at the point where I try to avoid sex all together! Thank you!

Dr. Faizal’s Answer:

First of all, there is absolutely nothing “wrong” with you. What you are describing is referred to in layman’s term as “vaginal farting”, something most, if not all, women experience at some time. Basically, when you are having intercourse with your partner, your vagina accumulates air. Now when your partner thrusts deeply into the trapped air, you hear this sound. You did not share how you boyfriend feels about this sound. I would recommend that you let him read the answers to your question so that he too does not regard the “farting” as a concern. A bit of advice: next time it happens, instead of becoming self-conscious, just look at one another and have a chuckle together. Having good sex is about sharing all aspects of one’s sexual response together.

 

---

Sexual Inexperience, Virginity, Vaginismus

Dear Dr. Faizal,

I am a 29 year old male and I have had sex before, but with my current girlfriend I cannot seem to be able to do it. She is a virgin and we have tried a few times but I cant seem to be able to enter her. Could you please help us?

Dr. Faizal’s Answer:

From your question it appears that you believe that your girlfriend, being a virgin, has something to do with this issue. I am assuming here that you are “unable to enter her” because your partner’s vagina is not expanding enough to allow your erect penis to begin intercourse.

Could it be that she is anxious about having intercourse? Or perhaps that she is not ready for such a big step in her life at the present time? I would have a serious, honest, and nonjudgmental discussion with your partner to see how she really feels about making love. If see feels that she would like to wait a while longer, you must respect her decision.

Feeling pressured into having intercourse is something which will make the experience unpleasant, to say the least, for both partners. If your partner sincerely wishes to have intercourse with you, but is not lubricating adequately for introitus (penis entering vagina), you could try external lubricants like K-Y Jelly (found in every drugstore). Placing some K-Y around her vaginal opening (and a little inside, if possible) and then some on your penis may facilitate initial entry.

If, however, your partner’s vagina is closed shut and is “convulsing”, so to speak, with attempted introitus, she may be experiencing a condition known as “vaginismus”. The psychological cause here stems from anxiety or fear of something (getting pregnant, premarital sex, sexually transmitted diseases, to list a few). There are behavioral exercises to reduce and eliminate these symptoms, but I recommend you first find a couples therapist to fully explore your partner’s unconscious resistances. You can help her through your unconditional love and support.