Satisfying a Partner

No Orgasm, Pleasing your Partner

Dear Dr. Faizal,

My boyfriend says he has never had an orgasm. Yes he ejaculates but, he has never had the overwhelming feeling of gratification. My question is, how do I make him make the O face, for lack of a better word. I want to make him tingle the way he makes me.

Dr. Faizal’s Answer:

Physiologically speaking, a man climaxes (or has an orgasm) when he ejaculates. So it may be improbable that your boyfriend is ejaculating without climaxing. So, let us look deeper into his claiming that he has never had an orgasm and you wanting to “make him make the O face”.

It appears that both your needs are not being met. Him claiming that he does not orgasm with you is his way of saying that he, perhaps, wants you to be more active during sex. Since neither you, nor I, can read his mind, why don’t you try asking him what exactly his wants are. Ask him what you both are not doing that he would like to try. Ask him what he would like you to try with him, and if it is ok with you, play out his fantasies. It appears that part of your psycho-emotional fulfillment is associated with you pleasuring your partner, which is fine. But remember, ultimately we all are responsible for our own orgasms.

Good luck, and remember – sex is supposed to be fun.